i went to watch a movie a few days back,
about a girl looking for perfect love.
how the movie relate into my emotions,
how the director make me run my thoughts.
so i went back home with my mind full of thoughts,
as i was lookin around, i sense it.
i juz realize how low have i stoop to look for love,
how i juz readily accept love from others juz to forget the person i truly love.
how selfish am i.
self-denial to the reality.
then,i stood up.
all this dirt that was stucked to me,
all the pricking little stones.
i went home,light myself a long awaited cigerette.
the lightness is crashing my mind flow,
should i leave the tap running.
wash away all my thoughts,flush the toilet bowl.
gulping mouthful of water,should i serve myself some wine.
no...they will only expedite my cry.
how come i don't deserve what other girls have,
how come i was refrained the right to love.
every kiss that i give away,is a waste.
like all the moving water,ridding of everything that's in the way.
how come i cant go to sleep and never wake up.
i want to bring my bliss forever with me,
i dont want to wake and think about things again.
agony.
i'm seriously not as strong as people deem it.
i'm just a girl,who wants you to cuddle me to sleep,
who gets to speak to you truthfully.
to see you all the time,to receive your concern messages.
i cant compose myself anymore.
my quiet phone...
right beside me.
how i have abused myself.
this trembling lips.