haiz.. i read ur blog.. n im not REALLY sure hu ur referrin to bt i juz got this feeling its me.. i noe ur gonna read this.. so be it.. i noe u blame me for not calling u days before.. u might blame me for not tellin u wats goin on around. u might also blame me for always leavin u aside when it comes to gathering.. i used to feel its my fault n all. i used to feel that i have the responsibility of letting u noe evry sgl stuffs or happenings around us. bt now, today.. i chose to be stubborn. ive given much thoughts. i used this lil brain of mine indeed to think of what actually happen. n wat was my mistake.. bt i found none.
u may say that i came out wit 1001 reasons to argue wit u.. or u may say that im juz comin up wit excuses. its up to u.. bt plz do think.. y wld i?? wat do i gain frm it?? wat actually is my motive??
if u do have any answer to this, feel free to tag me.. plz do.. i dun wan to keep anitink frm u.
beb.. seriously.. its up to u too.. ive all along been beside u n all of our cliques.. i dun deny on that. i cn roughly guess wats up wit each n evry one's life. wen u guyz are down, i cld feel it too. sumtyms i do call the rest to juz talk crap.. thats juz me. even if i dun have anitink to talk about.. but listening to u or the rest's voice, juz giv me the satisfaction.. given the chance, i wld want to meet u guyz evryday.. bt keadaan juz tak mengizinkan..
adilah really wanted to meet all of us before that.. i did send email.. bt yes u guyz replied.. so?? did u guyz actually called?? the ones closest to me were shikin n lah. as u noe.. bt tat doesnt mean we forget korg?? we never. never once cross our mind.. the reply i get frm the email was kind of ermm.. how to say.. lyk korg terlalu bz wit stuffs.. so i cn't argue much on that can i?? its ur life.. i understnd. so i delayed.. till the day adilah depart. and so i did tried calling u.. i cldnt call fara or aziera.. coz i noe for sure, they juz cant go.. n lyk ive said.. it was last minute.. totally last minute. i tried my best to make it a pleasant one for adilah. initially the ones hu confirmed is only shikin n me.. tk ke mcm kecian gitu?? so i called sri n aishah. dey juz came cross my mind coz adilah ader ckp tat she wan a reunion wit EVRY SGL ONE OF US.. n she added lau sri ngn aishah ader conferm best nyer.. n so i did fulfil wat she wan. i juz cldnt get fir..
i did msn u.. aku brani sumpah demi allah. i did.. n u replied back.. if u were to say izzat was the one yg sign in, den, y oh for goodness sake, y die tk blg ko?? or y cnt he juz tell me the truth.. i dun wan to noe the reason ok beb.. because.. its none of my business animore. seriously.. i juz wonder y.. y muz other ppl intrude to our friendship life?? y cnt it b juz us??
n beb.. im tired.. tired of always being the one to try to get evrybody tgt despite my life, my problems.. i want so much for us to be tgt bt i juz feel so tired. havent u notice.. of all gatherings, evry sgl one.. ive always been the one hu planned?? before i didnt thought much on this but after wat u wrote, simply got me thinking. n.. dun blame me on this. its the initiative of oneself. its juz initiative. if u seriously treasure our friendship, y always wait for me?? y not u be the one to call the shots. ask around?? dun juz say u dunno bout adilah's departure, lets juz start wit calling out for fun?? i'll be more than delighted to juz spare time to talk even if its juz a few minutes. seriously, im the one hu shld feel unfairly treated.
hav u ever spare a thought for me? at least juz past few days, i called aziera.. n i did tell her on the spot for fear she also dunno.. bt beb.. she noes bout it ok. she noes.. n watsmore, ive written post bout adilah lyk quite a few times.. even ashikin, reads it, bt im juz shocked that u didnt.
beb.. im not putting all the blame on u ok.. at least spare me some appreciation. with the way u conclude evrythink is all so not right.. haiz.. ive nutink else to say.. im juz soo dissapointed. its been frm the day i received ur msn reply.. beb.. we've been frends for nearly 8 years now. i really dun wish to c us end juz lyk tat. im not a person hu giv up on frendship no matter wat happens, i'll fight back for it.. plz do spare a thought. i hope the post is juz ur random thoughts for the day.. if so.. den u cn juz forget bout tis. bt to the extend ur deleting ur own acc?? hw else cld i get to u??
Hey. The name is Amirah. They call me Amirah or Mira.
NURUL
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