gees.. guess how many undisplayed post i typed before this.. 3.. everytym i logged on to the computer, i'll just straight log in to blogger and type down all my thoughts. i felt easier/relieved to typed down all my unhappiness since i have difficulty having a conversation. i cnt publish the post coz.. i dun wan ppl to misunderstood the post den cnfm..more conflict.
werk was fine. with qhas and alynn. nowadays, qhas keep on msging me corny pick up lines. whch always made my day. this was his pick up line for today.. it was at werk juz now.. he msg me..
'i think ders a lightswitch on my head... coz i get turn on when i looked at u..'
den i juz look at him.. n smiled. i didnt say a thing. haha. im soo tired u see. bt deep inside i noe, he's tryin his best to cheer me up..
was a bit pissed off wit him at ferst.. before i started werk actually. coz he lied to me.. for 2 times straight. n i really thought it was for real. he lied sayin he forgot his schedule. den he said he wld call me back bt didnt. soo i got worried n called him again. den he said he was on his way back home to get uniform.. bt will b veyr late bcoz he forgot his key.. so had to wait for his mum to come home so he cld enter the hse. i really tot it was for real. i believed siaa. i even told him. "okayy. its okayy. bt please dun be too late.. coz it'll be only me n jo werkin.. please try to rush urself."
den when i reached werk, he was already dere werkin. i was lyk.. "QHASSS!!! I FEEL LYK SLAPPIN UR FACE!! U BLOODY LIAR!!"
the second was he n alynn asked me to do some pose.. if i cld do it, den he wld buy cigg. den i sayy.. y shld i?? he said sumtink lyk.. not evrybody in this world cld do.. it was lykk puttin ur hands above ur head n open ur mouth wide.. i was curious.. coz i mean.. evrybody cn actually doo watt. wats wrg wit the pose?? so did.. n he was actually throwing some marshmallows in my mouth.. walao!! paisehh sakk. cb him.
got some info frm jo.. seems lyk adilah's turnin the table round. blaming me back now. hah!.. ridiculous. totally unbelieveable. i juz told jo.. "erm Jo. im tired. i have no energy n i cnt be bothered animore"
i felt the hurt. i think almost evryday i feel it. i juz dunno wat else to do. i feel lyk ranting it all out to sumone. bt nahh. i dun wish to trouble anyone. evrybody has their own problem. am i right? ppl wld be sayin that dey are fine listening to our problem bt den.. in their mind.. no one noes.. nt evrybody are like me.. i mean not evrybody thinks the way i think. its diff to judge ppl.. so id rather suffer it alone.
u noe sumtyms i feel. y is my life full of 'unwanted' challenges?? y is it me?? i mean.. havent i had enuf?? with family ties.. with family issues.. with the death of my very ferst bestfrend.. with the torture at home. with the frends around me. with the never lasted relationships. y me?? i wonder soo much.. very muchh. if tis were to be my life, its better off dead.
i left iman at home today. to go to school. im very very lucky.. tat im back on time. he was awake. i promised myself tat i wont leave him animore. i was sooo very scared. im scared he wld cry or wat.. i'll cnfm be blame forever. i rushed back home.
n haiz. father did it again. y la siakk?? tats all tat im left with.. y muz u take?? do u even have a heart?? siallah!! *wiping tears*
Hey. The name is Amirah. They call me Amirah or Mira.
NURUL
MY BABY BRO!
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