Hey. The name is Amirah. They call me Amirah or Mira.
No other. My life is full of choices.
No one can stop me from doing wat i want.
Am currently working but i have the urged to continue study again.
Im in a complicated relationship currently but i love my BF so much!
I hope he reciprocate my feelings too!

MY BF AND ME!

MY DEAREST FRENDS OF ALL!

FIZA

NURUL

MY BABY BRO!

Wuhan's Blog


layout: * etoile filante
colours: mintyapple
icons: cablelines
background: materialisti-c

To fiza:
I feel much easier to type it down den to say it. Coz as u noe, my brain functions very slow. Sumtyms i dunno wat i wan to say till minutes later. hmm. i wan to say sorry. i noe. its been millions or trillions.. times that i apologize. its up to u if u think im sincere bout it anot. coz i noe myself better. n i noe. ur blog, ur referrin it to me. well..

first thing first, i dun wan u in my problem. second, i dun wan to hurt u in a way or another. third, i dun need u understnd me. its ok if it feels to me tat none understnds me. its ok if u chose to thing im problematic in a way. for a frend in my life, ur the one hu nvr give me any problem. n tats y im glad to b a frend of urs.

i noe u, as sumone hu lives in the 'other' side of the world. u chose the 'happy' kinda life. problems that u had, arent really as bad as mine. bt me, i live in the opposite side of ur kinda world. i have lots of problem. yeah. u may say, 'evryone has their ups n downs'. bt wat if, ur 'ups' were nvr really dere n all u face were mostly 'downs' whch will nvr end n were nvr really caused by u bt u have no choice and to bear wit it.

i admire u for ur 'go for it' attitude. i admire u coz ur smart. i admire u for ur positive attitude. i admire u for ur outgoing-ness. i admire u for ur character. n lastly, i admire u for the life u had that i longgg to have for myself but i noe it cn nvr be achieved. i noe, no one is perfect in this world. bt im nvr near perfect nor am i near the middle. i tried. i did. discreetly.

Ever noticed y our classmates nvr talks to me? Ever wonder y? If the reason is me. den im fine. bt wat if i were to say, coz im stupid? do u believe me? If no, den thks alot. Bt if yes den i'd say, bingo. I noe wer i stand. None of my work were ever appreciated. If u do, thks. Myb ur the first. Our grpmate, ask me a question on a project, i noe the answer bt before i cld say it out, they chose to ask u and even said, 'nvrmnd.. i ask fiza'. Im not jealous. bt im hurt. It feels as though, ur the reason they had me in a grp. I tried so hard, not to let go of my emotion.
U noe the start of this sem, i was so enthu. yes i am. only if ppl dun look down on me n admit i have low self esteem. bt towards the end, remarks, comments bout me. i juz lost the confidence n i juz cnt seem to concentrate on anitink. I dun talk to them not coz i hate them. bt i tried so hard to let myself hear any words thats not pleased to me. it juz makes my head hurts even more.

Im sad coz i nvr dreamt of gettin this kind of grade. nvr. Watever knowledge i gained, i will nvr b selfish. Even the slightest tips i gained i dun keep quiet. i share. Bt wats my return to all those kindness to them? okie not say 'return' coz it seems lyk as though im asking for sumtink in return. well. lyk at least dun make me feel lyk im stupid.
myb in the ferst place all these poly stuffs isnt for me. i shldnt have.

bt right now its too late. eh dok, i dun wan u to leave me alone or giv me space. i dun wan u either to ask me any question of my life. bt i juz wan u to treat me as per normal. lyk u, joking around. yeah. im sure u will say, 'u dun wan to always be the one to start evrythink.' bt this is not 'always' right?

my own relationship stuffs: i dun wan to think bout anitink. neither do i wan him in my life. n tats it. watever happens, happens. for sure, it'll b settle some day.

my family:
-my grandmother is right now stayin wit my aunt. not animore wit us. coz she quarrelled with my sister. not me. bt my sister. n she went arund tellin the whole of anak2 dier, sayin we, siblings were 'kurang ajar' n stuffs. im angry arhh.. coz i nvr once even lawan ckp dier. all i did was, keep quiet. coz i dun wan to pick a fight. i dun wan to be 'kurang ajar' wit her. i understnd her. bt i juz dun noe hw to reply. if i were to talk so much, cnfm she wld say im nt respecting her as an elderly. so i had to ask fana to babysit my bro evryday. n my mum is payin her.
-my anak sdare juz meninggal. ive yet to see her bt the thing is i already gives present to my aunt. im feelin the lost of the baby too. i love all her child coz this aunt of mine is the one closest to me
- my mum. she hasnt been herself lately. heard her quarrel wit my dad. coz of some affair. i dunno. bt for sure she might be having an affair outside. haiz. she's always askin for off days n wld always go out alone n says she's gg out wit 'her frends'. without bringing iman along. sumtyms. til iman cry his lungs out juz wanting to follow bt she die2 dun wan to bring.

my frends:
-useless, pointless n juz refused to be bothered. yeah.. u may say..'nie ckp jekk' well. its true.
aishah got engaged without me knowing anitink. if we were nvr in touch den its ok arhh. bt den.. we talk. she sent me home frm NDP. bt nvr once she told me bout this. so wats all tat?
-i alr told aziera bout my drinkin habits. im relieved. very very relieved. coz she's fine wit it.
-faly, deleted her blog. n it seems 'sumone' told her bout the chalet time. i wonder 'who'?
-aziera planned out a reunion. All coming i heard. bt im nt. nt coz of my ego. bt dey caused me so much pressure in my life. so much hurt. dat i felt dey are nt worth being a frend of mine.

classmates:
its okie. u dun have to noe specifically hu the persons are n watever. coz im fine nw.

as for u:
im really sorry. really2 sorry. its true. im glad ur one of my frends. n i dun say tat for nutink. well. at least lyk not in the wee hours of the morning sia bt i did. tat means u really mean alot in my life. =)
thks for being a frend of mine again. if after this, u have any negative impression of me or watever. so be it. i dun care animore. coz i noe myself better. ;)

(p.s: i wrote this at around 3.37am in the morning. for fear i forgot wat i wan to say.so ta-da. technology da advance dok.. soo better make use of it.)

(okie tats all. wats the time now arh??.. aku lapar arhh.. bt dat one can wait.. do u stil have time? want to watch movie?? jom?)
fyi: i didnt go for class yest bt tat doesnt mean i didnt come to sch. i did. i was at the library all along. wathing movie.3 movies total.
1)Ghostbuster 1
2)Austin Power: the guy who shagged me
3)Before sunset.





11.50am. so this note comes in handy. dok. please juz forget bout evrythink. plz. if u nvr remind me or nvr question me, none of this wld hav happen. coz for all i noe, i have no problems wit u. nutink at all. ur my only frend whom im so close wit. i dun wan u to treat me this way. neither do i wan to treat u lyk tis.
please call me once uve read. dun worry. this blog is private only to u.